Jan 08, 2021
Caption: Collecting and plotting stats
Oct 28, 2020
Caption: XVB_LIST Spinlock Contention
Apr 03, 2019
Caption: A monolith with some smaller isolated satellites
Jul 09, 2018
Caption: Once you commit a change in git it's so hard to undo ... just like SQL!
Mar 26, 2018
Caption: Am I right in thinking that NULL is not equal to anything?
Jan 12, 2018
Caption: But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.
Jan 08, 2018
Caption: About to switch blue for green. What could go wrong?
May 24, 2017
Caption: Porcellino approves of the O'Reilly cover
Dec 22, 2016
Caption: The grinch had warded off downtime at least!
Apr 11, 2016
Caption: When WRITELOG waits get too big, it needs to be tackled
Mar 23, 2016
Caption: Tempdb Contention
Feb 25, 2016
Caption: The Blocked Process Report Viewer now looks at extended events!
Feb 11, 2016
Caption: Just do it! Make your SQL concurrency dreams come true!
Feb 03, 2016
Caption: Reverse your indexes to expose application assumptions about the order of result sets
Jan 20, 2016
Caption: SQL cursors are so fetch!
Sep 15, 2015
Caption: ... Man, this is going to add like three hours to the movie
Aug 31, 2015
Caption: ... I left about 50 cause I don't know how much you want to write
Jun 24, 2015
Caption: Some more duct tape should do the trick I guess
Apr 01, 2015
Caption: M. C. Escher's woodcuts often feature impossible objects. Linked servers almost qualify.
Apr 01, 2015
Caption: A RIGHT JOIN is like going through the McDonald's drive-thru backwards
Apr 01, 2015
Caption: Running Enterprise Edition on 8GB of RAM is like the Stig driving Power Wheels
Feb 26, 2015
Caption: Parameter sniffing is normally a good thing
Jan 23, 2015
Caption: Indexed views are like snowflakes, no two are quite the same
Dec 12, 2014
Caption: Ted Codd still hates that thing you just did
Sep 18, 2014
Caption: Standards are like a smorgasbord, implement only the ones you feel like
Sep 09, 2014
Caption: They're very nice, but I asked "Where are your batches?"
May 22, 2014
Caption: Um, No, I don't want a peanut. But I'll check with the others.
May 08, 2014
Caption: Use the Force, Luke. And maybe the spell checker.
Mar 03, 2014
Caption: I grow impatient with this rollback. Reboot the server.
Jan 23, 2014
Caption: But many workers don't always work well together
Dec 10, 2013
Caption: "Just please make sure that you really love doing it. Because that will get you through the hard times. And the good times."
Nov 22, 2013
Caption: Who has two thumbs and doesn't worry about hash collisions?
Oct 30, 2013
Caption: It's an older login sir, but it checks out
Sep 19, 2013
Caption: After a while, everything could use a refresh
Aug 15, 2013
Caption: ... but it may be tricky to understand exactly how.
Jul 29, 2013
Caption: An outside eye, a second opinion. It's very useful to me. Really!
May 28, 2013
Caption: Success: Ninety percent hard work, ten percent coffee
Apr 17, 2013
Caption: That guy over there won't share the table with anybody...
Apr 03, 2013
Caption: I defined a column as CHAR(MAX) and immediately ran out of space everywhere
Feb 08, 2013
Caption: Take the clustered scan from the query plan and put it in the tan van
Oct 31, 2012
Caption: Sad Frankenstein's monster is sad. Patchwork creations deserve love too.
Sep 27, 2012
Caption: Tell me Mr. Anderson, do you want to run as the SQL Agent Service account?
Aug 28, 2012
Caption: "Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise."
Jul 26, 2012
Caption: I can store your music but I can only guarantee the integrity of the data
Jul 17, 2012
Caption: My databases ran like clockwork once. There were no pages. Inbox zero. Why couldn't I get that day over and over?
Jul 12, 2012
Caption: I'm sometimes guilty of using ten percent of my brain
Jun 13, 2012
Caption: The Last Starfighter: An accidental DBA (Death Blossom Administrator)
Jun 13, 2012
Caption: Locks taken by SQL Server for the standard isolation levels
Apr 16, 2012
Caption: This is how I feel when I'm running the sp_rename step
Feb 27, 2012
Caption: Vizzini: War Starter, Shorty/Meanie, Dizzying Intellect, Not Immune To Iocane Powder
Feb 09, 2012
Caption: Putting your best foot forward
Jan 25, 2012
Caption: We can rebuild it online... We have the technology.
Dec 08, 2011
Caption: "Many hands make light work?" or "Too many cooks spoil the brothe?"
Nov 16, 2011
Caption: These two don't yield; They're on a mission.
Nov 06, 2011
Caption: A timeout always represents server unresponsiveness from the client's point of view
Oct 19, 2011
Caption: Fun tip: The MVP Deep Dives (Vol 2.) is under the spending limit!
Oct 13, 2011
Caption: "No data was harmed in the preparation of this demo" ~Amir Netz
Sep 21, 2011
Caption: Name those columns!
Sep 21, 2011
Caption: "I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, ..."
Sep 08, 2011
Caption: Don't try this at home! We're what you call experts!
Aug 23, 2011
Caption: Recently, I learned that Richard Harris sang 'MacArthur Park'...
Aug 10, 2011
Caption: Never show them your work in progress
Aug 03, 2011
Caption: "'C' is for cookie. That's good enough for me." ~Cookie Monster
Jul 27, 2011
Caption: It's interesting: For most people, the word atomic only refers to a process where atoms are split.
Jul 20, 2011
Caption: It's interesting: Some ACID properties are basic!
Jun 29, 2011
Caption: Paying attention to the man behind the curtain!
Jun 15, 2011
Caption: Ladies! Please! One at a time!
Jun 08, 2011
Caption: Be Honest, you can't remember the syntax either!
May 25, 2011
Caption: When we built Jurassic Park we spared no expense!
May 18, 2011
Caption: Aaaawww yeaaah! Michael's BPR Viewer is the only way I find lead blockers!
May 04, 2011
Caption: When am I supposed to use the Blocked Process Report Viewer?!
Apr 27, 2011
Caption: I have my moments... I recognize them when I can
Apr 20, 2011
Caption: There's a new way to look at blocked processes!
Apr 13, 2011
Caption: There's good odds that this guy does better than me on section 5!
Mar 30, 2011
Caption: I get that a lot, I'm not the Resource Governor, I'm a Colonel, I don't throttle run-away queries... just chickens
Mar 30, 2011
Caption: PASS has lined up a new performer for the 2011 summit.
Mar 30, 2011
Caption: That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "It depends" what he meant was "I love you"
Feb 16, 2011
Caption: One more trick for my mental utility belt!
Feb 09, 2011
Caption: "These blog entries are truly my journey ... This journey is truly remarkable, that's why I continue to walk on it ~Pinal Dave
Feb 02, 2011
Caption: This is the cow ... that jack built
Jan 26, 2011
Caption: Get rid of redundant Data!
Jan 19, 2011
Caption: Ted Codd hates that thing you just did!
Jan 12, 2011
Caption: The brain: Full of information, but normal ones are extremely rare!
Nov 07, 2010
Caption: Huh! I expected more people here.
