Michael J. Swart

So I recently looked through my web statistics and I wanted to share some of my favourite search terms. These are words or phrases that people have searched for and for good or bad, they've wound up here on my site. Google Analytics helps me browse these search terms and looking through them I learned that

• Michael is apparently hard to spell
• Some people still include question marks in their search queries. It's quaint. I always assume they're asking "Jeeves"

Any way here are my favourites, in no particular order.

• dba humour
• trololo
• trololo guy
• monkey throwing darts
• people running from atomic bomb
?
• swart guts
???
• is read uncommitted bad?
Yes
• rid lookup good or bad
Bad
• sql undelete
Nope, sorry about that. Although
• how to forget something
Someone googled that. There's a story there.
• reporting services is fun
you betcha
• 10 pockets utility belt
Career in construction or Batman wannabe?
• vampire hierarchy
Sorry, you've come to the wrong place, random googler.
• cartoon cow tossing dog
(strangely enough) You've come to the right place, random googler.
• how to avoid swart
HAHAHA! If you find out, let me know.
• my software never has bugs. it just develops random features
  and
  pivot tables are like good wine you need to learn how to appreciate them
2 things: (1) How did my site come up for these searches and (2) Can we be best friends?

By the way, the phrase "You've come to the right place" reminds me of Engywook, the toothless scientist from the movie The Neverending Story. He's an expert on the Southern Oracle (it's his speciality). So I include him here in the hopes that I get at least one ironic google hit for "Oracle expert":