Michael J. Swart

April 29, 2008

SQL Poetry

Filed under: Tongue In Cheek — Tags: , — Michael J. Swart @ 6:52 am

Probably one of the geekiest things I’ve ever done.

Take a list of SQL Server keywords. Stick the words in a database
table along with it’s meter and rhyme. Get SQL Server to cross join
this table to itself concatenate meter and output candidate lines of
poetry. Select and arrange according to rhyme:

ALTER PROCEDURE, CONTINUE, IGNORE,
money and smallmoney, AFTER, BEFORE,
INDEXKEY_PROPERTY, CAST and CONVERT,
GROUP BY, IDENTITY (Function), DEFERRED,
BACKUP, nchar and nvarchar, COMPUTE,
EXECUTE, UPDATE STATISTICS, INCLUDE,
datetime and smalldatetime, ISNULL, ROUTINE,
ROLLBACK TRANSACTION, IS_MEMBER, BETWEEN

Things I’ve noticed.
1) This must be what Vogon poetry is like.
2) Statistics is a word that should never show up in any poem
anywhere.

2 Comments »

  1. A fellow who worked with statistics,
    employed a large set of heuristics
    But the questions eternal,
    he found quite infernal
    and had to consult with the mystics.

    That. Just. Happened.

    Comment by No One of Consequence — May 13, 2008 @ 1:40 pm

  2. select a.truth
    from (select fact
    from (select opinion
    from (select perception
    from statistics ) ) ) a
    where a.truth exists (select interest from me);

    Comment by bill.olsen — July 18, 2008 @ 12:31 pm

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